the morning after.

You stood alone, your back facing the hostel, looking anywhere but behind you.

It was the morning after. Yesterday night you tried to get to her. Now you wanted to get away from her.

What were you thinking back then? Or did you not think at all?

You heard her call your name, and felt her approach. Cautious. Unsure. Awkward. Silence.

Then,

"I... I'm thinking of visiting the shrines today. Kyoto is well-known for its shrines. What about... you?" She asked.

"I think I will head downtown." You replied.

Then, (sheepishly), "dai jo bu?" [Japanese]

(Did you really have to ask?)

"Actually, my stomach is not feeling too good. It must have been the coffee I drank yesterday night." She offered.

You knew better. But you decide not to say anything more.

Because you should have known better.

"I am going now." You said, turning to look at her.

"Oh, me too."

"Alright then. ja ne."

You turned away to walk away. Westwards.

She walked Eastwards.

You walked until the city skyline came into view, making sure not to slow your pace, nor to turn around and look anywhere but in front of you.

The morning after, the city skyline came into view, alongside the dawn of your realization: you are such a scumbag.

Because you should have known better. The morning after.

Scumbag.