what's -- or more exactly, where is -- the beef?

Remember Bovril, the thick, beef paste sold in the distinctive jar? Or its vegetarian, yeast-based version, Marmite? When you were young, your parents had you try Marmite spread on toasted bread. Your verdict: yuck! It is yeast after all.

(As for why it was Marmite and not Bovril, it was because your parents are staunch Buddhists--or so they claim, for the most part "Buddhism" as it is practised in Spore is really a confusion and/or conflation with Taoism--and your gastronomical encounters with anything beef only occurred during your teenage years. Ah, an unforseen side benefit of rebellion.)

Back to the main subject. Bovril, is it turns out, is an excellent base for Hainanese beef noodles. If you have neither the time, energy, nor resources to boil kilograms of beef bones in order to make soup stock, turn to Bovril. (There, you have let the cat out of the bag. Or the cow out of the farm. Whatever. Now you wait for Beef Noodles Hawkers United's vitrolic response.)

But you have now found out--over a year too late, as it turns out--that Bovril is now yeast-based. Its manufacturer switched from the beef formula to yeast in order to allay fears of BSE, and cater to vegetarians and vegans. You were unaware of the news. Until you used the bottle of Bovril you had painstakingly asked a friend to bring back from Canada. And wondered why it smelled and tasted like yeast. There is a discernible difference. Manufacturer claim: "... in blind taste tests 10% didn't notice any difference in taste, 40% preferred the original and 50% preferred the new product." 10 percent did not notice any difference in taste. You belong to the other 90 percent then.

Bovril is now no different from Marmite. Beef Noodles Hawkers United should have more obvious targets than yourself.